tips for a “therapy regression”
When we make changes to address our health, we often experience a rebound of symptoms.
To the nervous system, symptoms appear to get worse not better.
This often happens in the therapeutic space too, sometimes as early as intake. If you’ve ever been in a therapists office and felt pushed to ramble every awful thing that’s happened to you… that can also trigger the same sensations. System dysregulation, trauma triggers, a profound desire to continue to mask, to disassociate, to be somewhere else not feeling this thing
What are some warning signs that you need more help, or that it’s a therapist/you mismatch??
*this is a short, not comprehensive list off the top of my head. TRUST YOUR GUT, or ask around if things don’t feel right.
Dysregulation lasts longer than a few hours. You may not always leave a therapy appointment feeling good - but look for a sense of relief, a sense of calm, a sense that you’ve been seen.
If that’s hard to access, look for physical signs that you’ve relaxed a bit. It may not be obvious, particularly as you work through difficult things. You may sleep worse for several days, eat differently, etc
A post traumatic stress disorder trigger is more intense: flashbacks to trauma, intrusive thoughts, increased thoughts of the incident(s) that mean you can’t get through your daily routines in a normal-to-you way.
Increased feelings of self-harm, suicidal ideation (think of the questions - do you know where, when, how, etc?)
If nothing on that list jumps out, but you’re still noticing that a few weeks into therapy you’re feeling revved, sensitive, angry, frustrated… you may be feeling a regression, rebound or retrograde period.
Here are 3 tips that have helped me each time I hit a wall (or closed door) with a client,
or a wall in my own therapeutic work.
Just lean into it. Breathe into it. Write about it, complain about it, talk around whatever IT is. Go with it. Awareness of your junk is half the battle. Or really, most of it.
Get out of your head. Get into your body. If your body is not a safe place to be right now, focus on a project, on fast movement (think running, punching, breaking plates). Find something you can do to not be sitting in front of a screen. Scream, scream-sing, yell, pet your dog, paint an ugly picture, have consensual sex, touch grass. Just get your hands into something. Probably many things. I’m not asking anyone to meditate if that’s not safe.
Take a break from that topic, or from therapy. Oooof I know this one is controversial. But, if you’re working on higher level things, or feel generally stable surrounding your stuck topic… Put it down & walk away from it for a bit. If you’re stuck on something for a good amount of time, let it process in the subconscious, and allow your therapist to guide when it’s time to go back to it again. You could even state that intention outloud, something like “hey, I’ve been circling this for a while, could we take a break from this topic?”
I live and breathe for the moments when my clients redirect me. Do I squirm sometimes? Sure, because I care about what I do, and I want folks to find our time helpful.
More often than not, though, I cheer inside (or outside bc I am ND and have little filter in that way) because I work with folks that often don’t know how to self advocate because of -neurodivergence - oppressive systems - chronic illness - people pleasing- and oh so many parts of being human that cause us to lose our inner guide.
